more ideas, please.

mom in mesa, arizona: why are you using SPF 15? You need at least SPF 45! 

mom in palo alto, california: why are you putting on sunscreen? you need more vitamin D! 

Time baffles me. If I think about it too much, it makes my head hurt - if I don’t think about it, it seems so simple.

How is it that the perception of time can be so warped by the context of situation? When I’m on the couch after work, two hours can go by in the blink of an eye, with nothing accomplished. When I’m rushing to prep for a meeting, even the last 10 seconds can make the difference between whether I come prepared.

I was thinking about how busy I’ve been lately, that even an extra spin on the page loading wheel or a typo in the URL annoys me for the 5 seconds lost of productivity. But then I think about how my life now can’t even compare at all to when I was working on that m&a type project I was on a few years ago. Literally every action item was a race against the clock. It felt irresponsible to eat.

how we seem to stretch and push the extremes of time - when all of that is just an illusion against time’s steady unwavering beat…

silver fox in the back of a ginormous red pickup truck holding his bass, with a smile and a wave* as I drove by.

DAY. MADE.

*granted, he was waving to my friend.

this weekend I got in a fight with my parents for coming home too late. admittedly, I knew I was pushing the boundaries by my parents’ standards. 17 year old me would have been fuming and grounded, for sure. 27 year old me drove off to the gym, worked out so hard, then came home and apologized. 

do I like that I’m 27 and have a curfew? no. do I know what it’s like to worry about someone you care for deeply when they’re out wandering late at night? yes. besides, these days time spent with  parents is a rare commodity and any time spent on fumes and silent treatment is a family moment wasted. 

perhaps my angsty phase is finally over. 

Ok. I must know how linked in calculates its algorithms for ‘people you know’. On that list are people I’d expect (co-workers, college friends) and on that list are also people I should have very little connection with online….neighbors that live in my building, relatives from taiwan, people on my chamber music mailing list, and even a few guys I went on a single date with…. Urrrrrr.

The interwebs is scary!!!

So amped to hear our board of directors talk about their outlook for our company! It’s an exciting time to be at jobvite!!

There are always those days you feel terrible about yourself but not all of them coincide with when you physically feel terrible. Blargh goodnight!

Oh no…I’m in love with the bass player.

friends and I were having a discussion around the 5 languages of love, and no, I haven’t read the book yet (surprise surprise), but based on how they described each language I started thinking about what my languages probably were, and why they were such. 

My initial inclination was that my languages were acts of service and quality time, similar to several of my friends. but when we started discussing in detail, I realized my top one is probably words (verbal), which surprised me. but it does makes sense…. 

- I have 3 blogs, not including my photo blog. when I feel particularly terrible I have to use words as an outlet for emotions, even if it’s just seeing those words on paper (or a screen)  

- I have a lot of trouble lying and I’m also really gullible, because of how much words mean to me. when someone tells me something, I take it as the truth, so I only allow the truth to come out of me. 

In asian cultures it’s uncommon to express love through words - I’ve never heard my parents say “i love you” to each other, but that’s not unique. so it’s not surprising that words don’t make the top of the language list for many of my friends. 

but for whatever reason (perhaps the lack of verbal affirmation?), words do mean a lot to me. when my parents told me they were proud of me, that was the first time I realized they were proud of me. I’ve made an exception that even though they don’t say they love me, it’s understood that they do - but in general I don’t believe in assuming anything, especially when it comes to emotions. how do you know that you love someone if it’s never been said? two people can be compatible and comfortable and happy with the familiar, but is that the same as love? and how do you know if it is or isn’t unless you verbalize those feelings? If I don’t hear it at least once, I won’t assume that it’s true, and yes, every time I say those words, there is meaning behind them. I don’t believe in empty words, even though maybe the 108th i love you isn’t as emotional as the 1st. maybe my need to hear what my gut tells me indicates an insecurity, but experience has taught me not to extrapolate meaning from actions; I’ll wait until someone looks me in the eye and says it to believe it.  

the importance of words to me means that I have to find someone for which words are equally important. reflecting on my successful friendships and relationships, the best ones are with people who are straightforward, speak their mind, and aren’t afraid to tell me like it is - while also listening to my side. the most hurtful are the ones where emotions are tucked away only until the last straw springs opens the pandora’s box…and even then sometimes the conversations that should have been are avoided. I have no interest in pursuing those relationships. 

Another interesting thing to think about is, whether certain languages predict greater long term relationship satisfaction. I don’t know if this is discussed in the book, but I could see this being a great longitudinal study for dr. dacher keltner. My initial guess would be that quality time is up there, (assuming it indicates compatibility, which can predict more stable marriage) but I would think that words is pretty high up there too.

ok, clearly enough thinking for one night. 

Key takeaway from this week’s summit: software conferences are a meatmarket.

And, we kicked ass hosting it!!!